I have had this song in my head all day for the last couple of days. I woke up with it in my head and then saw friends on Facebook talking about it. It is sad, but beautiful to me for some reason. It hits really close to home with both Gess and my prognosis.
Even though I knew that Gess had CF and would likely not make it to be an old man, I still never believed that he would die so young. I wasn't ready for it and it broke my heart. My heart is still broken. I think that it is healing bit by bit, but it still feels shattered. I guess in some ways my prognosis gives me solace because I will be with him soon. But at the same time, it is hard to think of what might have been.
I have given up trying to understand why all of this has happened. It will never make sense to me and I guess that is okay. It has to be. I am focusing on today and trying to enjoy the days I have left. It it is 1 or 10 or 20 years worth.
I love you Gess.
4 comments:
I hate that you have to go through all this. I know we don't know each other at all really but I want you to know that I think of you all the time, fwiw, and am sending you love. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier, because you've gone through way more than one person should have to deal with in a lifetime.
<3 Big hugs Lisa! xo
Love you Lisa!
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